Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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