just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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