so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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