We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
