She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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