worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm really busy with my period
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