If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
