I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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