I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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