just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
