there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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