I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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