Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
