Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize