i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
