More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
