So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
