I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
