Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
