i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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