I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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