new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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