my mouth tastes like poor choices
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
