Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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