girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
