mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
