SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
