Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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