Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
