I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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