sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
