I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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