She said her name was "party"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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