as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
