hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
honey bunches of taint.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
