p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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