We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
