Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i believe in u and ur pee
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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