just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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