y did u give ur computer a hand job?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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