11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
