we're blogging at a bar
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
