So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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