Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I smell like Dick and happiness
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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