do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
