Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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