Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
