on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
