my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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