After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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