just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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