Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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