I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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