I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
