its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
